I Thought I Just Needed More Willpower…
For a long time, I didn’t think alcohol was a problem.
I drank like most people around me, after work, at events, to unwind, to celebrate, to cope. I told myself it was normal. That I didn’t drink that much. That I could stop… if I really wanted to. I tried moderating. I really did. But it felt like constant negotiation. Do I have one glass? Two? None tonight, but maybe on Friday?
I was spending more time thinking about drinking (or not drinking) than I wanted to admit. Alcohol had become my shortcut to everything; confidence, calm, connection. It helped me mask my ADHD when I didn’t even realise I was masking. It numbed the social anxiety I carried for years. It felt like a reward at the end of a hard day. A way to feel ‘normal.’ And in midlife - hello menopause - it became the thing I reached for when I was tired, anxious, foggy… even though I knew it was making all of it worse.
I wasn’t falling-down drunk. I wasn’t hitting rock bottom. But I was tired of the loop. The 3am wake-ups. The guilt. The feeling that I was somehow failing. I knew I wanted to move away from alcohol but I didn’t know how. It was taking too much from me. And deep down, I knew life could be so much more than this.
So I started where I could. I read books. I listened to podcasts. I filled my ears and brain with new ideas. Eventually, I got coaching and that changed everything. I thought I just needed more willpower, but what I actually needed was a new perspective. Understanding what was really going on beneath the habit gave me the clarity and courage I needed to let it go. The rest, as they say, is history. I found freedom I never thought was possible. And now, I help others do the same.